Are you worried wedding planners will turn you down because you're having a same-sex wedding? While it's legal for same-sex couples to get married in America, the queer community faces challenges finding LGBTQ-friendly vendors in the highly heteronormative wedding world. We're sharing ways to know if a wedding planner is LGBTQ inclusive.
How Will I Know if a Wedding Planner Is LGBTQ Inclusive?
You'll know that your wedding planner is LGBTQ inclusive if their portfolio features queer couples, uses inclusive language, and considers requests on changing heteronormative wedding traditions. It also helps to check their beliefs if they are genuine allies, which you can learn from client reviews.
Your wedding day should be a celebration filled with love, support, and respect. Thus, it's important that you can identify and hire gender-inclusive wedding vendors. This particularly applies to wedding planners with whom you'll spend a lot of time interacting.
What Are Ways to Tell if a Wedding Planner Is LGBTQ+ Friendly?
Many wedding vendors are now openly supporting and catering to queer couples, which makes them worth the money. However, knowing if they are truly open to equality can sometimes be tricky. Here are ways to tell if a wedding planner caters to LGBTQIA+ couples.
Look For LGBTQ+ Couples on Their Portfolio
If a wedding planner truly supports the LGBTQ+ community, it will be evident in their posts online.
- Social media: When you scroll through their Facebook or Instagram feed, do they actively showcase same-sex couples? Can you see diverse weddings showing gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender couples?
- Website portfolio: Do they have portfolio photos featuring queer couples? Are they able to share the experiences of their clients? Do they have wedding planning resources or vendor recommendations for LGBTQIA+ couples?
Learn About Their Stance on LGBTQ Concerns
Real inclusivity doesn't end at stating that a vendor caters to queer couples. Some vendors choose to separate their beliefs from their business practices. However, genuine inclusivity comes from explicitly showing their support.
For instance, do they make a stand for the rights of the LGBTQIA+ community even when it's not Pride Month? Some vendors or organizations have performative allyship, where they may use Pride to exploit it for profit.
Do you feel like something's off, especially during the inquiry stage? Trust your gut and take the time to find a different planner.
Ask if They Can Accommodate Changes in Heteronormative Traditions
It's crucial to hire wedding planners because they will take charge of turning your ideas and vision into reality. You'll know if wedding planners are LGBTQ-friendly if they are open to discussing queer wedding planning ideas. It's also important to choose a LGBTQ wedding designer. A wedding planner is different from a wedding designer. These are a few examples to take note:
- Are they giving you various attire options, including both gowns and suits?
- Are they not imposing heteronormative traditions, such as only the bridesmaids getting to participate in the wedding bouquet toss?
- Are they suggesting that the both of you can walk down the aisle at the same time?
- Are they not stopping you from having a mixed-gender wedding party instead of designated bridesmaids and groomsmen?
- Can they help you create same-sex wedding vows or Pride-inspired souvenirs?
Check for Reviews From Queer Couples
A study shows that vendors turn down around 40% of queer couples due to gender identities.
Thus, checking reviews and recommendations from same-sex couples is another excellent way to know if a wedding planner offers gender-inclusive services. Reading feedback from someone within the community gives you a good idea of how the wedding planners treated them.
Evaluate Their Language
The voice and language of wedding planners will also tell you a lot about the types of couples they're trying to get.
- Do they include appropriate relationship identifiers, or do they mainly use heteronormative phrases?
- When you read their About Us section or blog posts, do they talk as if they're speaking directly to brides marrying grooms?
- Do they use gender-neutral language when you read forms, questionnaires, or contracts? Do you have options, or does one of you have to choose between being the bride or groom?
- Do you read countless references about what only a bride or groom should do?
- Are they asking for your pronouns and the right way to address you?
The wedding planning industry tends to be heteronormative. If they lean towards this, it doesn't necessarily mean they're anti-queer couples. However, if they make a conscious effort to use gender-inclusive language, this is a good sign that they cater to LGBTQIA+ clients.
Consider Queer-Owned Wedding Planning Businesses
It's a bonus if the wedding planners or the business owners are part of the LGBT community. In this way, they understand your position better, especially the hardships of planning a same-sex wedding.
Can I Ask Directly if a Wedding Planner Is LGBTQ-Friendly?
If you feel comfortable asking a wedding planner whether they cater to LGBTQ couples or not, then it's okay to get straight to the point.
However, we understand that this can feel awkward to some people. A great way to ask is something like, "How do you feel about working with queer clients?". An unsure answer or a pained facial reaction is a telltale sign of what they truly think.
How Do LGBTQ Weddings Work?
LGBTQ weddings can be more flexible than heteronormative weddings. You can choose which traditions to keep or add more ideas to make the ceremony more inclusive for queer weddings.
How to Plan a Same-Sex Wedding?
To plan a same-sex wedding, you must first check for the requirements in your area to make the marriage legal. From here, hiring professional wedding planners is worth it in helping LGBTQIA+ couples, so they can help you move to other parts of the planning, like booking a venue for same-sex wedding, hiring other vendors, and managing the guest list.
How Will I Know if a Wedding Vendor Provplanneides Service to Queer Couples?
Like when choosing a queer-friendly wedding planner, you'll know if a wedding vendor is LGBTQ inclusive if they have a portfolio showing their support for same-sex couples. Whether it's the caterer, florist, or host, inclusive vendors know how to adjust their services depending on a queer couple's needs and requests.
We believe that marriage is a fundamental human right, regardless of your sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. Whether you want an intimate destination wedding or a luxurious ceremony, professional same-sex wedding planners at Thomas Bui Lifestyle will give you the love and pride you deserve on your much-awaited day.