How to Plan a Wedding Ceremony for Two Grooms

In a society traditionally catered to heteronormative traditions, same-sex couples may face discrimination and financial challenges in planning a ceremony that authentically reflects their identities. As a queer wedding planner since 2000, I've guided LGBTQIA+ couples in personalizing their weddings. Here is a quick guide on how to plan a wedding ceremony for two grooms.

How to Plan a Wedding Ceremony for Two Grooms

Planning a wedding ceremony for two grooms involves a comprehensive approach that involves setting a realistic budget and finding queer-friendly wedding vendors first. From here, you can navigate the legal requirements and define the ceremony structure and reception flow. Hiring the right vendors can also help you personalize the program and prepare the logistics meticulously.

By addressing each of these aspects thoughtfully, same-sex couples can create a celebration that truly expresses their love, values, and personal styles. 

The Basics of Wedding Planning

Embarking on the journey to plan your wedding ceremony as two grooms is an exciting time. Each decision made will showcase your unique relationship and the commitment you're about to make to each other.

Two white suits hanging on the wall

Managing the Budget and Vendors

Start by establishing a realistic budget for the kind of ceremony you envision. Consider the various types of vendors you will need, including an officiant, photographer, caterer, and musicians.

I use a financial tracker to monitor expenses and make sure you stay within your budget without sacrificing the quality of your suppliers.

Looking for Inclusive Wedding Vendors

It's important to prioritize finding vendors who respect and celebrate your relationship, creating a supportive and enjoyable environment. A global survey of more than 10,000 people in 2022 reveals that 75% of queer married couples experienced discrimination when planning their weddings.

During consultations, it's a concern among same-sex couples about where they could find queer-friendly vendors who won't turn them down. This is why I regularly update my list of recommended vendors for LGBTQIA+ weddings.

Considering Legal Requirements

Countries and states may have varying requirements for weddings. As a professional planner, I can help obtain your marriage license within the appropriate time frame before your ceremony. Aside from that, I can suggest officiants who can legally perform your ceremony.

Defining the Ceremony and Reception Structure

Decide on the structure of your wedding ceremony and reception, keeping in mind any traditions or rituals meaningful to you both.

You may also define roles for your loved ones, including who will be part of your wedding party and any special duties they might need to carry out during the celebration.

Personalizing and Designing the Celebration

A personalized wedding ceremony should be a reflection of both your personality and the unique bond you both share. Here are some ways I can guide you in customizing each element to celebrate your love story with a touch that feels intimately yours.

Same-sex couple wedding with their visitors perfectly lined up on the stairs

Selecting Your Theme and Decorations

Begin with settling on a theme that resonates with both of you. Select decor that complements your chosen theme and adds to the ambiance of your ceremony. For example:

Writing Personal Vows

Writing personal vows is a deep expression of your commitment to each other. Focus on what love means in your relationship, and:

Incorporating Readings and Music

Enhance the emotional aspect of your ceremony with carefully chosen readings and music. They can be pivotal in setting the desired mood and tone.

Planning the Logistics

A wedding ceremony for two grooms should be planned meticulously, with attention to detail given to every aspect of the wedding. A survey reveals that 96% of couples get stressed by wedding planning. Don’t let this be you!

To ease your mind, it's my job as the planner to coordinate the logistics of the planning. However, it helps couples to understand how things work in the background.

A couple with same sex pose for their photo session

Related Questions

What Are the Vows for Two Men's Wedding?

In a wedding between two men, you might choose traditional phrases or write personalized promises that resonate with your unique relationship. Opt for gender-neutral language expressing your love, respect, and the life you envision together.

What Is the Correct Order of a Wedding Ceremony for Two Grooms?

Even when there are two grooms, the wedding ceremony's order can follow traditional structures or be customized to suit your preferences. The procession may begin with the grooms and their wedding party entering, followed by readings, vows, the exchange of rings, and the pronouncement of marriage.

Who Pays for a Wedding When Two Grooms Are Involved?

While a couple's families typically divide the wedding cost, it can be more flexible for a wedding with two grooms. You might split the cost equally, divide it based on financial ability, or have family members contribute as they wish.


With careful budgeting, inclusive vendor selection, personalized ceremonial elements, and meticulous logistics planning, two grooms can have a memorable wedding celebrating the beginning of a new chapter in their lives. Professional wedding planners from Thomas Bui Lifestyle can organize this joyous celebration, tailored just for your love and commitment.